I love you, but I am not inlove with you (An open letter to unsuitable suitors)

When life gives you a chance of relationship, sometimes, saying no is a better way of saving yourself and not hurting somebody else. By doing that, you create a gap which will define your choices. We all have that right, the right to choose the person you will love. They say there are plenty of fish in the sea, and men know how to fish and that they actually have the freedom to choose who to fish. In the same way, women should be afforded such right.

However, in saying no, you do not say it the first time you meet. Give every person the “benefit of the doubt”. Even an accused is given a chance to prove his innocence. And to make it a bit more legally dramatic, every person is presumed honest or in good faith until  a clear and convincing contrary is proved. You might realize that in the end, the person you disliked is after all, a blessing in disguise. So yes, go on a date, meet new people, widen your circle of friends and you might be surprised he is just around the corner.

And if in the process you found out that he cannot put up with your standards and something about him is turning you off, this is the right moment to say No, firmly and clearly. If he is persistent, repeat it a thousand times.

Here’s the good thing. Saying no to a romantic relationship is saying yes to friendship. Although I have to qualify on this, it may be the best friendship you’ll ever have or the worst you’d rather not have. If turning him down opened a better friendship, then it’s all well and good. The problem arises when surrounding circumstances dictate that there is impossibility of being friends and that you both choose to go your own way. I will tell you, you don’t owe anyone an explanation, even to him. You just know in your mind and in your heart that you wish them well in whatever dreams they achieve or whoever will they find to be their one true love.

However, if there’s one letter explaining yourself, what would you write?

Dear Unsuitable Suitor,

I am lucky to have someone like you to like me. And I sincerely thank you for that. But sorry, I have to say no.

This might be hurtful but I want to be honest with you, I have  to tell you straight up and unsugarcoated. I’d rather be rude than be a liar.

Yes, I am amazed by your brassiness and persistence. You are a good man but maybe you’re not the right one. I don’t feel the chemistry going on, I can’t see fireworks and hearts floating around, and I can’t find Cupid striking me with his arrow- I don’t think it will work. It’s just that, maybe, you are someone else’s star. I believe you will be a better choice for someone else.

My status today grants me incapable of handling relationships. I’m no Pro, and I’m too busy for love. 

But I love you for being a human, for being a friend, for being a brother. I cannot pledge something more than that.

Anyhow, I wish we could stay as friends. But if not, I still wish you all the best. I wish you real happiness.

Goodbye.

Go on fishing, the next one you catch maybe the right one.

@.@

Remembering her on her 40th day, the day when she finally leaves this material world

For a very long time, I have always imagined the worst. I thought for some time that I will be ready when the time of letting go arrives. But to my surprise, I was not. When I knew she was dying, my knees trembled and I was powerless, like all the blood in me ran dry.

I was taken aback because just the other day before she left, I let her sit at the edge of the bed, helped her feed herself, and told her to dangle her legs, which she did it very well.

She was 92. She was always admired not only because of her age but most especially, by the sharpness of her memory. She never grew senile. May it be a name in the past or an event of history, she remembers it perfectly.

She was beautiful. I miss her fair glowing skin and long black hair cascading over her shoulders, I miss staring at her nose bridge and wonder why I never had that kind of nose, J like I said, those physical features I failed to inherit.

She was a meticulous eater. Rarely does she eat meat or if she does, the size of the pork is smaller than your pinky finger. She dislikes eating salty food. And even scolds the one who cooked. Every time I see fruits like bananas and mangoes, I am always reminded of her, those were her favorites. We miss preparing her meals and meriendas. I miss sneaking into her room and munching up her Lemon Square Cheesecakes.

She was the best storyteller. I would just lie down beside her and listen attentively to her unending stories from Spanish-Japanese-American times, all about our genealogy, and all those funny stories to haunted ones. I am always amazed.

She was a prayerful woman. I remember, I had this prayer book entitled “Straight from the Heart”, which was embarrassingly slightly used since my friend gave it to me. When my grandmother got hold of it, it became old, a moral indication that she prayed every day. Because age has caught up with her, and she cannot endure too many activities, all she does is pray from the time her eyes open in the morning until she lies on bed at night. Usually, I hear her prayers because she says it like she’s talking to herself. She prays for everything- family, relatives, friends, neighbors, children, sick people, sinners, priests, church, peace on earth, unemployment, I mean it when I said everything. Sometimes, I woke up suddenly during the middle of the night and surprised to see her, still praying. I can’t help but remind her what time is it and that she should be sleeping for it’s not good to be deprived of sleep especially for elders like her.

She was a loving mother to her children and grandkids. Despite our indifferences, she cares and forgives. I remember one time when I came home very late, I guess that was like past midnight, I managed pussyfooting on my way inside the house careful not to disturb any soul or else I’ll get caught. I saw her, still reading her prayer books and so I just passed behind her, and silently, went to sleep. Later that night, I woke up hearing her voice, she was checking up on me if I was already home. At that moment, I felt guilty for not showing up and saying I already arrived. In a second, I was on my feet walking towards her and telling her I am home and I am totally fine. These are the times when we did things which made her worry too much. We forget that she was there. In the face of all our misdoings, inadequacies and inattention, she never complained. With all her hard work, and sacrifices, she consistently tried to teach us how to be closer to God and to be good men and women. Do what is pleasing to the eyes of God. Be good, and stop hating. And I thank her deeply for that.

I once asked her about her secrets to long life. And of all the things she said, there were two important reasons I deduced, balanced diet and prayer. Have the courage and the discipline to eat what is good food and despise what are not. And pray, pray, pray always. It is not only to deliver yourself but for all the intentions the world need, just pray.

When she died, I cannot help but blame myself. I am a nurse. I should have known better. I should have known the signs. It breaks my heart to remember that the last time I saw her was the time when she was already in tubes and cannot even open her eyes. All we were left to do was to clench her hands and whisper in her ears our gratitude, forgiveness, and prayers.

Death never comes easy. But it is also through prayer that I learned to see death for what it really is- it is the end of pain, and the beginning of joy, the end of weakness and the beginning of strength. I know that she has met her Creator and that she has already found eternal peace with Him.

To us, the ones left behind; let us rise above our grief and sadness. Let us not be troubled for we know that our departed love ones have found the most beautiful place. J

Sorry for all the troubles we have caused you but thank you Nanang for all the love and care. For everything. Rest in peace, Julia Carantes Balbines.

This Sunday, we remember her in her 40th day, the day when she finally leaves the material world.

Typhoon Luis just made me emotional and vulnerable

When I was younger, about the age of 6 or 7 I guess, I had a lot of fears, until now actually. Anyway.

I was terrified of heavy rains. The folks told me that I cry nonstop, and get anxious every time the rain pours. I’d go really frantic. Why? I blame the television! I watched some news report back then; it illustrated a scene where a humble home is being washed away by volumes of mud as a result of the downpour of rain. I felt uncontrollable terror and uneasiness. My imagination is so wild and harsh that I think it will happen to us anytime.

Our school is like less than 2 kilometers (not sure), but sure thing is, we walk a distance every day. One afternoon, during the elementary days, the teacher already dismissed the class. The rain is angry, pouring around-the-clock. Most students have already left the school and I was there in the corridor, alone, crying, frightened by the rain which was unfortunately accompanied by the raging thunder and lightning. My mind is constantly giving me flashbacks of the disastrous things I saw on TV.

Luckily, I was noticed by another student who was actually our neighbour and about four years older than me. She asked why I was crying and said that I better be going home already. I cannot further remember my responses. But the vivid part is that she carried me on her back until we got home.

Look how imagination can play us. The state of mind that we have when we were kids is one that is primitive, focused and unchangeable. We have trouble applying logic and extending our views. It’s limited. Because I witnessed that on TV, it was really hard to change what is already lodged in my mind. Fears tend to grow bigger and bigger when we don’t face or learn about them. It puts us into a state where we stay stationary, numb, and trapped.

Now that we have grown, we become reasonable and more practical. We think outside the box. We think beyond what is limited.

On the other side, losing our youth’s innocence and fear can be all wrong. We become arrogant and complacent. We disregard rules, and try the riskiest. And most of the time, when this happens, we end up losing.

We should always learn to keep some balance in us. Too much fancy thoughts can give us trouble but hey, too much knowing won’t save us from trouble either.

Be safe everyone. 🙂

On Benguet Corporation’s Tailings Dam No. 2: The way we see it

(I have actually written this article last June 2, when this issue was at its peak. I thought of not posting it because I have not attended to all the meetings and consultations. But then I realized, it doesn’t matter whether I heard their side or not. An ordinary citizen like me would deduce from all the facts that at this very moment, we are at risk. Today, rumor has whispered to me that the focus has been interrupted by issues on land disputes regarding the dam site? I just hope someone can explain what the hell is going on. Press Release please!)

 Hear our prayer.

It is but normal for people to contest whatever it comes in between their lives and livelihood. That explains the cry of the people of Poblacion, Itogon, Benguet. You must have heard the issue of Benguet Corporation’s reoperation of their Tailings Dam No. 2 which is situated at Batuang, Virac, Itogon.

I remember when we used to wake up at 5AM and jog the trail from Poblacion to Batuang. The fun starts by scaling the Carantes Road and then continues when you run passing through this forest of pine trees. Feeling exhausted, we would always end up drawing in this fresh breeze of air vitalizing every cell we have. When we reach the end of the concrete road beside Tailings Dam No. 2, we stop to do some exercises and get some rest. While doing that, we cannot fail to appreciate the green landscape of the environment around us. The grass carpeting the dam is green, wild, and robust. The trees circling the dam are homes for wild birds and shelters for cows, goats, and other animals. Funny that sometimes, we have to reroute and run like hell because we encounter herds of cows. I am afraid those things already started to cease from happening. Today, the dam is starting to be filled with these green-blue-gray materials, I can’t even tell the right color. The grasses have withered, the trees have turned dry, dead, and brown, and a number of cows have already died. Alarming.

Gravity will tell us that when the rain comes and the dam reaches its maximum capacity, any spill will go downstream. Please know that the people rely on the rich sources the river provides. Even before, the oldies told me that fishes used to thrive in the Ambalanga River. Other people have also discovered gold panning to be a source of their living. Some have also ventured on sand and gravel business. I see some men who would gather loads of rocks, stones or sand and wait for the trucks to do the hauling. The water from the river also supplies sufficient hydration and cultivation to the farms in the neighboring barangays of Tinongdan and Dalupirip. And of course, the famous 1300L Swimming Pools, also known as, “Trese” and a few of fishponds are situated along the riverbanks. All these people have their own families to feed and to protect. You can just imagine the number of people who will be affected by this adverse possibility.

While we have always been thankful that the oldest mining company in the Philippines has provided wealth, development, and living to the people for more than 40 years, we are in the same way terrified of the results of their decisions. We cannot simply shrug off the problem because this concerns our properties, livelihood, and most importantly, our lives. And as for us, members of the youth, our future is at stake. You cannot blame us for putting too much drama regarding this issue, we are humans too.

We have expected that the years of their corporality should have equated their efficiency and expertise in the field of mining industry. I guess they have failed to prove that. How come they didn’t see it coming? Why did they start filling up the dam and waited for it to be filled until only a meter is left before taking actions? Look how we are all scrambling to seek for appropriate methods to prevent such disaster. Are we too late?

Reasons why you are still single

I am not a love guru or an expert about relationships, I don’t have that much experience, and I guarantee you, I will be the last person you can consult regarding love dramas. Everything I say here is just a product of a keen observation and a naughty mind. Haha. 🙂

I wonder why single people are more proud of their status than those who are taken. Is it a defense? If you are single, I bet you have tried posting this on your wall.

Is singleness awesomeness?

And maybe, just maybe, you are single because:

1. You do not believe in forever and happy endings.

You saw how families now are being broken because of indifferences and third parties. To save yourself from any trouble or heartache, you choose to stay single.

2. You are waiting for your perfect prince. (Believe me, that person will never come.)

You have turned down other men because you think that they are incapable of making you happy and contented. You have set a list of qualifications which is impossible to be met. The things that turn you on include a good looking face, a perfect smile, sexy body, high paying career, pleasing family background, etc. While the long list of good qualities continues, you realize that you got a longer list for the disqualifying circumstances. Of course, you do not like the person who smokes or drinks alcohol, the person who already fathered a child, the guy who failed to finish college, the guy who doesn’t know how to cook or whatever.

3. You are independent and can manage anything without the help of a better half.

Being in a relationship is a sign of weakness. You think that walking yourself home without the aid of anyone is the easiest thing to do. You can stop by the cinema and watch a movie alone or eat in a fast food all by yourself. You laugh when you see a guy securing his girl while crossing the pedestrian lane and utter words like “Really? She can’t even do that?” You laugh harder when you think how corny and stupid being in a relationship is.

4. Being in a relationship will definitely kill your freedom.

You can go out whenever you want and flirt with some other girls or guys. You don’t live your life on schedule or worry about the whereabouts of your girlfriend or boyfriend. You can post anything on Facebook or other social networking sites. A restriction of your liberty is a violation of your being.

5. You are afraid to be hurt again.

Past relationships left you broken and wounded and a rewind of that will bring about total breakdown.

6. You are financially incapable of managing a relationship.

You worry about what to give her on her birthday, Valentine’s Day, Christmas Day, monthsary or anniversary.

7. You think you don’t deserve the person.

This is one of the lame reasons I have heard. You think that you are not attractive for him and that he deserves someone better. You constantly talk about being fat, ugly, talkative or pitiful. You are not confident in yourself that is why other people also lose confidence in you.

8. They are intimidated by you.

While other people think they are ugly, the truth is, you are too awesome or too beautiful for someone. They are overwhelmed by your personality, and they can’t keep up with your charisma.

9. You are hard to get.

You can’t be honest with yourself. You tend to deny things because you are full of yourself.

10. You still love your ex.

You constantly talk about your past relationships. It only shows that you can’t get over him. Entertaining your ex closes future opportunities. Either you hold on to that previous relationship or let it go.

11. The person you like doesn’t like you and you don’t like the person who likes you. 

Of course. This is the better and bottom line reason you think? You can never sculpt a relationship when the feeling is not mutual. In a situation like this, I got a question for you. What do you do? Do you change yourself to make him like you or would you rather find ways to like the person who likes you?

 

The enumeration is not a defense why choosing to be single is a wiser or better choice. While I watch single people enjoy their own lives, I have also witnessed successful love stories. 🙂

I can give you a hundred reasons why you are single but it doesn’t really matter whether you’re single or not, as long as you get to enjoy yourself every  day, you are beyond awesome! @.@

 

Dear me.

January 24, 2014

Dear Me,

How are you?  Do not tell me you are fine like you respond to all your friends. I know what you are thinking and I know when you are lying.

How is your day? How did the world treat you so far? With all those questions, I can already hear your clamour and discontent. Complaining won’t ease whatever burden you are carrying. Every person has his own problems. Do not complain like you own all the problems of the world. Do not blame the weather for not giving you sunshine, do not blame the traffic for not easing your way, do not slam on the printer if it doesn’t yield good prints, do not curse and bully the cat if it rubs itself against your legs, do not fuss about unnecessary things when you can see the brighter side of everything. Be thankful for the rain for it waters the plants, be thankful for the traffic for it teaches you how to wait, be grateful for the printer for you have one, and be thankful too for the cat for it longs for your affection and for heaven’s sake, it’s an animal! 🙂

How are you holding up? I know how much you always underestimated yourself. First, do not be intimated with those pretty long legged girls. Beauty is not skin deep. It is not measured with how you look or how you dress up. You are beautiful in your own way. So next time you walk that hallway, don’t bow your head but instead walk with grace, and brandish that big smile. Second, a failing score or grade doesn’t define you. It just reminds you to strive harder for the next one. And hello? It’s not the only exam on earth. It will pass, you’ll get your second chance. And besides, like you always say, who needs extra grades? What for? Those are just mini battles which will prepare you for the bigger war come due time. Third, learn how to express yourself. Say what you mean. Speaking in a crowd won’t kill you. I swear. Do not be afraid, just let it flow, let it slide.

How is your relationship with other people? The truth is, some people out there really care about you that is why they ask you things like how have you been and what were you up to recently. Learn how to trust other people. Yes, I know, it’s not a task as simple as learning ABC. Trusting people carries with it the risk of hurting yourself eventually because they may ignore or disappoint you in the course of time. Let them be. That’s alright. It’s part of growing up.

Don’t forget too those friends who even when the storm came raging in, they never left. Those people you laugh with and those ones who were there for you even with the shortest notice. Be thankful of the people you have, do not be regretful of the ones you have lost.

What’s up with your attitude? Please, do not be mean. I know you were always this hard headed stubborn i-dont-care kick-ass kid. Oh come on! You’re not a kid anymore. There will be times when your rules needed to be bent or broken. You are not always the boss. Learn to submit and surrender. Be nice. Forgive and forget. Wear a smile. 😉 Learn to say sorry when you know it is you who is at fault. Another, I know for sure that patience is not your virtue. Learn that time is a critical element of waiting. You have to understand that everything in life takes time to happen. Would you choose to be impatient and miss all the fun?

How is your temper? Taper that off. It makes you ugly. When things don’t go your way or someone is getting into your nerves, take a deep breath, let it go. Just raise an eyebrow and leave. Think of something else. Drift away.

How is your love life? I would bet everything I have, at this moment, you have no one. Lower your standards now or you will never have one.  While everyone is singing in merriment of love, I see your pitiful blank face in the corner, clueless because it’s the topic you know nothing about. On the other side, being alone does not mean being lonely. It actually gave you chance to appreciate what you have and focus on yourself. Whatever happens, either you stay single at the moment or in a relationship sooner, I just wish you to be happy and contented. Good luck.

How is your family and relatives? Do not stress yourself in thinking too much negatives. Like you always pray, God is keeping them happy, healthy and safe always. Continue praying that that God be with them all the time. I know how much you value your family for you always say that family comes first. Come home every chance you have. They are always delighted having you home. Try to be present in every family occasion. Don’t forget to say hello, make a call, or drop some good message to family members who are miles away. They miss you more than you miss them. Tell them you love and miss them. I know you don’t do that for it sounds awkward but at least show them.

How is your spiritual life? Have you gone to Church last Sunday? Did you read the Bible? God has never failed you, be faithful to Him. He is your strength and your saviour. Never forget to be thankful for all the countless blessings you have received. Pray always. It is one of the most comforting moments in time. It is when you find peace and hope amidst pain and struggles in life. When life gives you too much burden to bear, the man above will help you carry it through.

And there, I think I have written enough. I really hope you come to your senses and give a chance to all my reminders. I will be watching you. 😛

Lots of love,

Me

The only person who will either put you down or pull you up is yourself. @.@

Year Ender: Throwback Experience.

Merry Christmas! May the spirit of this yuletide season fill your hearts and homes. 😉 My 2013 has been different. And thank you to all people who made it worth treasuring. Naks.

I had my ups and downs, and U-turns too. I had questions, and lesser answers. But all those various things definitely taught me how to to be stronger, and smarter for my upcoming endeavor. Who knows what 2014 may bring? Good luck.

Like everyone else, I had realizations of the past. It’s a mix of everything. It may speak about life, leisure, love, economics, relationships, politics, anything.. And it may sound stupid but it bites because it’s true. Share me yours.

1. I always hear people say that the more you get older, the more you forget about the real meaning of Christmas. You know why. Older people are focusing more on problems than seeing the brighter side. That is true for me. Hmm. Let’s change that. Let us be like those kids, carefree, innocent, vulnerable, just enjoying every moment of the Christmas. 🙂

2. It is not the future that scares you, it is the past repeating itself. This truth only proves that you were either disappointed, hurt, or suffered so much in the past that experiencing it again would crush you totally. That is why, you think that trying again is not an option. Well, I tell you, there is more to life. If you perceive something to be painful, it will be. By changing the way you perceive pain, it will eventually change your reactions and behaviors.

3. You are not afraid of heights, the truth is, you are afraid to die.  The experts call it Acrophobia which is defined to be the fear of heights. The simple look on the sky high buildings, steep mountains, airplanes crossing the wild blue sky, hanging cliffs, roller coaster rides, pool diving, crossing bridges, these instances scare the hell out of them. Why? Because they are afraid to be badly hurt when they fall, worst is to be severely injured and die eventually.

4. There are some friends whom you have known for years but both of you forgot you once built a friendship. And it is sometimes ironic and amazing that the friend you thought is just a complete stranger will be your friend for a lifetime.  Your old friend suddenly changed his likes and habits, and so, got new acquaintances,  you too became busy and pursued some different path. Well, it happens.

5. If you want people to talk about you and if you can handle the pressure, open your life like a story book, people will gladly read it. If you don’t want to be talked about, there’s a choice which they call “Shut up.” Do not involve yourself to strings of gossips if you can’t handle criticisms.

6. The more you grow and become mature, the more you think of yourself less. Being selfish won’t help you make it to the top.

7. I wrote this line in my Birthday post last year: Enjoy those late night outs, drink like it’s your last shot, take millions of pictures, party like a rock star, and savor the hangover. To all those courageous fellow students, studying like forever will kill you. Hehe. It would be nice to add some spice in your life, you know. 🙂

8. Let’s talk about giving up, failure, disappointment, and all those negative words. What can I tell? Those are simply words! Do not allow those things to pull you down and crumble your confidence. Life gives you a new chance everyday. The mighty man up there will always be there for you.

9. Family is always number 1. Period. 

10. And as always, BE NICE, IT WON’T KILL YOU. 

Of course, all these things do not exactly mean I already learned such. I am too in the process of learning. Niaha.

And there’s a lot more. A year will not only teach us 10 things. But that’s it for now. Happy New Year!

“Ha-on ya Ifu-loi mango.” – Confessions of an Ifugao-Ibaloi mix breed

Some people regard my ethnic roots as “Ifu-loi”, a breed of Ifugao and Ibaloi. But then, the truth is, my father’s father is a native of Kiangan, Ifugao while my father’s mother is a woman from the Nueva Vizcaya, an Ilocano. My mother was born and raised in Itogon, Benguet where Ibaloy tribe prospered. What a mix.

Ibaloi is a subgroup of Igorot. Generally, Ibaloi people are fair in complexion, and are amazingly beautiful. My grandmother is a living testimony to that. I cannot forget how she told me that during the Japanese times, she was always mistaken to be of Spanish descent because she has this tall nose, and pure fair skin. Those physical features I failed to inherit.

Ibaloi people are literally shy. That is where the famous “Shy ak mango” was conceived. With my humble understanding, those words supposed to mean, “I’ll just stay here”, which in a way was equated to be understood that you don’t want to join or mingle with other people. I undoubtedly got this trait in me. I tend to hold back when I meet new people and I cannot give them my trust completely. I always felt self guarded and I am less willing to openly reveal the whole truth about myself. That happens with meeting strangers or new people because with time and familiarization, Ibaloi on the end reaches out and will try to enjoy the crowd. When Ibalois started to be acquainted with the surroundings and people around, the attitude of being friendly emanates in them.

One of the interesting aspects of being an Ibaloi is the dialect we speak. The way it sounds is somehow close to Pangasinense. According to some friends, it is one of the most difficult dialects to learn. But for someone like me whose first langauge is the Inibaloi or Nabaloi, it was a piece of cake. A little tutor would be fun.

“Memapteng ka.” – You are beautiful.

“Na oges ka.” – You are ugly.

“Pipyan taha.” – I like/love you.

“Mengan.” – Eat.

Ibalois are also identified because of their various prestigious and wealthy feasts and celebrations. I remember, it has always been a joke that if you want to get married to an Ibaloi woman, you need to have cows or carabaos to be butchered for the wedding celebration for it would be a taboo if you don’t or somewhat disgraceful. 🙂

“No carabao, no wedding.”

Generally, Ibalois are peace loving people. You haven’t heard us hunting heads or tribal wars.  We are genuinely friendly. An Ibaloi will always offer you his house and will even cook for you his best Pinikpikan no matter how poor or inconvenient that is for him. 🙂

I am also an Ifugao. Ifugao people are independent. Our ancestors resisted foreign influences. And that they have retained their cultural spirit and arrogance despite the aggressive westernization and modernization of time. Being independent helps a person discover his own strengths and weaknesses. There are times when I choose to be alone, and struggle by myself. It is tough but it will help you grow, learn and do things you thought you can’t.

🙂

Ifugaos are mountain people. And with the stories I have heard, the mountains did not prevent them from living a wealthy and sustainable life. Using their excellence and creativity, they built mountain terraces for them to plant rice. Oh yeah. They constructed sturdy rice paddies in the mountains using simplest hand tools. How genius is that? Plus the courage and hardwork? Excellent to the exponential level! I wish I had more of that. 🙂

Indeed, I am truly amazed with the richness of the culture. I have attended so many Ifugao rituals done for thanksgiving, weddings, death or burial, or some other reasons. Like the Ibalois, there will always be butchering of pigs for ritual purposes.

Another thing I noticed with the Ifugaos is that they  are gifted with this brilliance and humor. That sometimes arguing with them would need philosophical and intelligent mind. Hehe.

Ifugao is a beautiful place not only because it offers you a green and picturesque environment but mainly because it is inhabited by beautiful people. Of all the times I went there, I never felt like a stranger. It was home away from home.

Kiangan, Ifugao

The Ibalois and Ifugaos regard their culture, tradition and beliefs as important foundation of their lives. It is then expected of us, the young people, to preserve and give due respect to it. Despite the fast growth of modern world, it stays that our identity and spirituality will always be rooted in our culture.

Wanderlust. Hihi.

Possessing both the Ibaloi and Ifugao affiliations is a gift, that whenever I will go, it will never depart. 

The first 3 weeks of Attorney-not-yet

Almost four months have passed since I set foot into this new and different sphere of my life. And how do I do now? I like it, so far.

First day was petrifying. As I entered the room, I was not sure if I actually entered the right class. I took a seat farther from anyone because I didn’t want any conversation yet. I look around and saw younger people, those who just finished their undergrad courses. I also noticed some who were older, maybe a family man. And I guess the rest were just of same age as me. Everybody exchanged awkward smiles and said hi.

I was kind of scared at first for I did not know what to expect. I saw some who had books already, while all I had was a pen and a notebook. I was like, “Really? Excited much?” 🙂 I was also a bit terrified because I had no background which was actually related to law. I’m a nurse. What I had was just Nursing Legal Ethics and Jurisprudence. Most of my classmates were graduates of Political Science, Accounting, Legal Studies, and Commerce. Despite being fearful, I managed to look fine and just go with the flow.

We were asked to introduce ourselves and I was so surprised that I was not the only nurse in the class; we were like seven nurses out of 30 students. Plus, one is a graduate of Biology. Seriously? Yes. With that, I realized that in entering law school, it does not matter if you have previously pursued pre-law courses. Everything is back to zero.

As the days went by, I was challenged by the bulk of books I need to read and carry every day, cases I need to digest, recitations I need to answer. Adjustment and learning how to do it is one of the difficult things to do, that includes management of time. And so, the first three weeks were very exhausting.

Here are some surprises I had in law school (so far):

1. I go to the library and read, almost every day.
2. You don’t use the usual ball pen; you need to have a real pen, that is, a gel pen/sign pen plus color pens/highlighters too.
3. You write in longhand. (cursive)
4. During quizzes, you use the writing notebook, those which are for grade school and have a colorful Mickey Mouse or Dora in the cover page.
5.  It’s recitation every day and it’s done in random.
6. Recitation does not include one question only; you might recite during the entire hour and continue in the next meeting.
7. When you don’t know the answer, there is no “Pass”.
8. In answering questions, and you think you know the right answer, think again!
9. Assignments are not one page only; it will be 15 pages or more.
10. The Course Outline/Syllabus of the subject given during the first day is very important, keep it, it will be your guide.
11. You need to have a dictionary or at least an app of legal dictionary in your phone. Newbie. 🙂
12. There’s a lot more of surprises. Looking forward to that.

After surviving the three weeks of tough and demanding apprenticeship, I think I’m getting the hang of it. And I thank the One up there for finally giving me this chance to be here. 🙂 So far, I love the challenge. It’s not easy but I believe I’m doing just fine and I’m learning a lot. May this good luck continue! Let’s drink to that! @.@

My First Tukang Cave Encounter (fingers crossed for a next one)

I was scrolling my Facebook Photos when I saw tagged photos of our Tukang Cave venture. That was three months ago.

Spelunking is a daring but fun adventure. And of course, you don’t have to worry about getting toasted by the sun.

Anyway, thanks to the invitation of a friend, again, I came to see the beauty of God’s creations.

Tukang Cave is located at Tuba, Benguet. Have you heard of Twin Peaks? Or you most probably heard Kennon Road… It’s somewhere along that road. The trip from Baguio to Tuba took us about an hour (I’m not sure). We got off the jeep and met with the caretaker of the cave, an old man. While we were waiting for some other companions, I heard the caretaker complaining about the destruction of the cave brought about by other people whose minds are so twisted. For that reason, the cave has been closed and locked for some time. Lucky for me, my companions knew the old man and the guys are frequenters so no problem. He even offered his humble home for us to wash up.

We started preparing, checking our lights, and refilling our water bottles. I didn’t know what to expect. I was even contemplating on whether I should leave my phone or not. My phone was new then. Either it will be soaked inside or it will get lost outside. I chose the latter. Result? Good luck and better choice, my phone was definitely not lost.

“Down the river…”

Crossing a fine-looking and sturdy bridge was no sweat. After which, we strolled down the river bank then climbed a bit of rocks. And tada! There’s the entrance to the cave! The guys in the group were Pro’s. They are real professional guides for caving and hiking activities. And they have crawled, slided, and maneuvered this cave a hundred times. So I was not worried if any misadventure happens to me.

In entering the cave, I had to do it facing down then carefully and blindly figuring out my next step. Rocks inside are like hardened mud. Don’t wear any light color stuff. Rocks after rocks. Some parts are really slippery too, so be careful.

I have always doubted my physical strength. There’s a part where you have to let your body slide and just keeping hold of the rope. I was like, “What? How should I do that?” I did it anyway, and I almost slipped.

“How do I do it?”

Another challenging part (especially for those who don’t wanna lose that extra baggage) is the part where you have to fit in a space between walls of rocks. No worries, all you need is a little push.

Here comes the harder part, climbing the walls of rocks. I’m no Pro, I don’t know how to carry my own weight while ascending, how should someone do that? Good thing, the girls were provided climbing gears like ropes, harness and restraints for safety reasons. And I reached the top! Yehey!

Some rocks are really sharp and are just inches above your head, extra caution is always advised.

We passed through some parts where there are bodies of water which tempted us to better swim it rather than holding onto rocks on the sides and guessing where will be your next step. The water is freezing cold. There’s not so much of a rock formations like other caves have but what is best here is the challenge it offers you. You know the questions like, “What if this rock falls on me?” or “What if I fall and get drowned?” or “What if I slip, and break a bone or two? Or hit my head?”

The jitters it will give you is the beauty of every adventure. 

After four hours of mixtures of wonder, fear, and fun, I came out alive. Of course. Just a few scratches. And I came out looking like a miner but with no gold. Haha.

The outside world is so hot. We headed towards the river and climbed our way back. We washed up, and took our lunch.

After reviving some strength, the group was up for another activity. Rappelling. Oh no! I hate heights! You know I even hate bridges. Hmmm. I have turned down a lot of offers of rappelling before. First times are always shaky. But then, I thought great courage brings about great adventures so I gathered myself, and inhaled like it’s my last. My face felt hot while my hands were cold. Weird. And hell yeah, I tried, and I realized how ridiculous I was. It’s was so freakin’ easy! Cool, and nothing to be afraid of. Ha! I even did it twice. And I’ll do it again if opportunity comes.

The day is coming to an end, so we prepared to leave, and said thanks to the old man.

A double treat. Thank you for the invitation. It was again superb!